NUMBER 1 - COMPLETED

Number 1 - Attend a lecture - Completed Nov. 12, 2009

Joel and I went and saw John Irving. Simply put, he was amazing. "A Prayer for Owen Meany" is my favorite book of all time. I was so excited and giddy like a school girl.

We arrived at Unity Temple on the Plaza - a place I swore I'd never enter again after my blowout with the Reverend Duke Tufty over my wedding vows - at 6:00. This was a full hour before Mr. Irving was to speak. I'm glad we did - the first four or six rows were already full. We got our book, our tickets, and took a seat as close as we could on the aisle. The place was full by 6:30 with a long line.

He spoke for nearly two hours. He was witty, charming, intelligent, funny, and in my opinion, handsome. (Joel thinks he looks too much like John Laroquette.) He also cusses, which I always like.

Here are some highlights:

1. He described himself as a 19th century writer, except with lots of explicit sex.

2. He described his writing process - how he always writes the last sentence first and never changes it; not even the punctuation.

3. He writes his first draft in longhand. He has terrible arthritis and his orthopedic doctor told him to stop writing longhand. He won't, but that is why he can't sign books. He was apologetic about it.

4. He read passages from his new book, "Last Night in Twisted River". He read the tragic accident that occurs, and when he read it aloud, it was very funny.

5. Before the talk, the audience could write down questions and put them in a box. He and his assistant look at them before he speaks and picks some out. I think this is a very smart way to handle it - he can avoid stupid people, or dopey girls like me who stare at him like I'm still 19 and he's the brilliant college professor that I have a huge crush on.

6. He was asked how he feels about his critics. He said it is like "being condescended to by inferiors."

7. He was asked the question: "Why hasn't he won the Nobel Prize in literature?" He responded that are three reasons: One - he's American. Two - "You may have noticed, I'm funny. They don't like funny." and Three - "Explicit sex."

8. He did Owen Meany's voice for us and told us about the inspiration for the character. I had never heard this story and loved it: He was in college and had gone home to New England over Christmas break. He was hanging with a lot of his friends and they were talking about mutual friends that had gone to and/or died in Vietnam. Someone mentioned a kid from the neighborhood and John Irving couldn't remember him. He said he must not have known him. His best friend said, "yes you do, you used to turn him upside down and hold him by his feet to make his change fall out so that you could hear him yell in his funny little voice. He moved away from here when he was about seven." John Irving said, "THAT kid? He couldn't have gone to Vietnam. He was too small." To which his best friend replied, "Irving, you moron, he probably grew!" John Irving went home that night and wrote in his journal, "what if he never grew?"

The most incredulous part of the night came during the introduction. The lady from Rainy Day Books was pushing their upcoming events, especially the one featuring LAUREN CONRAD. Yes, the vapid chick from "The Hills". I was laughing out loud. She went from talking about Lauren Conrad's new "book" (really? she wrote a book? has she read a book?) to saying, "Ladies and gentleman, John Iriving."

Side note: Joel and I ate at the Classic Cup before the lecture. That is a place we used to go to a lot when we lived on the plaza. They've changed their menu and I had the stuffed salmon which is to die for! I highly recommend it. It is quite yummy.